Order

 Good evening world!  

I have been thinking a lot lately about organization and order and have learned something about myself.  I like scheduled spontaneity or scheduled change.  Those words are generally not partnered together in normal context as they basically mean opposite things.  However this is what makes my world have order and make sense.  I like to know the plan, how things are generally going to work out.  I like to know the order of events.  On the flip side, I do not like to be tied down.  There has to be constant change or the ability to change things up in order for me to function.  

How does this work?  Let me use school as an example.  At school I teach math 1st and 2nd hour.  We have a set schedule:

• Monday: General skills lesson then individual book work
• Tuesday: Skill practice then individual book work
• Wednesday: Timed test then free game day
• Thursday:  Skill practice then individual book work
• Friday: Review game

This is a set schedule or plan.  My students and I can count on it.  If I am not there, a subsitiute can step in and my students know the plan and the class still has order.  The change part comes in that each week has a different theme or skill set that we are working on.  Each day is different and can be changed in a moment's notice, as long as we are staying within the basic schedule.

I feel this relates to the Gospel of Christ in so many ways.  We have set expectations given to us by our Heavenly Father.  We know a general plan or way that things should work.  But just like my students have individual book work that is specific to them and where they are at in their learning, we have individualized plans for our lives.  These specific plans are given to us by a loving Heavenly Father.  The plan is often challenging and requires hard work on our part, but the reward is so sweet.  

I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior.  They are so patient and loving with my short comings.  Just as any good teacher; they push us to become the best version of ourselves,  are always there to help us through the tough problems, and rejoice with us when the light bulb comes on and understanding is gained.  

How have you seen the Lord's hand in your life today?

  

  

Thinking

I have a confession to make.  I am a thinker.  

One might wonder why this is something that is confession worthy.  I am both an over thinker, an under thinker, and hopefully on many occations even a deep thinker.  

I have been working on this post for over a week now.  Back and forth; write a little, delete a little - till the post is nothing more than a single sentence.  This morning as I lay in bed surfing social media and thinking ... I came across this image:   

The ability to think and reason is such a beautiful gift from our Heavenely Father.  It allows us to weigh the pros and cons of any given situation to enable us to make an educated decision based on facts in order to become better individuals.  

However just like all good things it can be used for our gain or our loss.  Worry, doubt, and over planning often bog us down and rob us of true joy.  These feelings can be replaced with faith, trust, and action.  

For me, journalling has been one of the best disrupters of my negative internal worry/doubt dialog.  I have been an avoid journaler since I was 8 years old. It is beautiful to go back and read my thoughts, relive the high moments, mourn with my younger self on the hard spots.  I can clear out the constant stream of thoughts that is going on in my head for a little peace and quiet. 

What do you do to disrupt the inner dialog of worry or doubt?

 

I am me

Some of my earliest memories of my mother involved poetry.  In elementary school, I had such a difficult time remembering my spelling words and their meanings.  In an effort to help me, my mother would write stories and poems with me about my spelling words to help me remember.  We would write in all the different styles and just had a really fun time with it.  As I grew older, this branched into writing short stories and poetry together.

One of my mother's favorite books to read poetry from called Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices.  We used to read this together and would often laugh as we mess up the lines or read it wrong.  Those are some of my most prized memories.

Several years ago I was challenged at a personal development seminar to create a piece of artwork that spoke to us.  As I sat pondering on what I should write, the memory of my mother and I reading from this book popped into my head.  I felt inspired to write this poem for two voices.  My beautiful daughter London recorded it with me.

  Visions of Me

Who am I?	Who am I?
I am a mirror...
	A Mirror?
Yes, a mirror.
Beautiful.
Simple.
Powerful.	Powerful.
I reflect light,
	Love,
Peace,
	Inner Joy.
	I reflect
Goodness,
	Hope.
I reflect
Me!	Me!
Who am I?	Who am I?
	A blossom
Quietly unfolding
	Under the sun’s
	gentle kiss.
Stretching
	Reaching
Bringing delight
	Sweet smells
Memories
Love	Love
Who am I?	Who am I?
I am a child.
	I am fully grown.
I am beauty.
	I am natural.
I am elementary.
	I am sophisticated.
I am Me!	I am Me!

Rest

 

Good morning dear friends!

Welcome to February - the month of ❤️ love.❤️

This month is home to my second favorite holiday: Valentines day.  I love everything about it, the showing of love to others, the silly valentines, the heart stickers, etc.  To me this holiday celebrates love in general, not just romantic love.  

As a young child I was showered with love by my family. For a long time I thought that showing love meant the giving and receiving gifts or doing something for the other person.  The focus was always on the other person.  I struggled with self-love, self-care, and the concept of rest.  

For a really long time I felt that rest was synonymous with lazy or idle.  If I wasn't activitly doing something or was needed by someone, I was being lazy. I struggled with taking a nap, or being alone.

I have loved watching The Chosen series.  It has given me new insights into rest, and how to properly taking care of yourself and others.  Christ often went off by himself to pray and think.  I knew this from reading the scriptures, but somehow seeing what it might have looked like was different.  I finally gave myself permission to stop and rest. 

This has made a world of difference in my life.  Giving myself permission to be still, to rest, to take care of myself is so liberating.  It is one way I can show love for myself.  As I show this love for myself, it enables me to be a better person for my family, my students, and anyone that I come in contact with.

How are you showing love for yourself today?